


ghost of you

by skkaie29



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sad Ending, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27526345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skkaie29/pseuds/skkaie29
Summary: after kai's death, sehun realises how much different life is without him.a songfic based on ghost of you by 5SOS. this was just an angst outlet, will have two parts
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Kudos: 2





	ghost of you

_ here i am waking up, _

_ still can’t sleep on your side. _

“kim jongin. aged 26, died of suicide by hanging.” 

those words, they rang in sehun’s head every day.

how—how could he have missed the signs?

when jongin declined his multiple offers to go dancing,

when jongin broke down after the concert,

when jongin—

it had been 2 weeks since his passing, EXO and EXO-Ls devastated over the news.

kyungsoo, jongdae, junmyeon and minseok all took a break from the military to attend the funeral.

everything felt… surreal.

nothing was real.

sehun slept in the bed he shared with jongin,

and somehow, he still felt warmth emitting from jongin’s side of the bed.

_ there’s your coffee cup, _

_ the lipstick stain fades with time. _

“sehun-ah, i don’t like my lips,” jongin pouted.

“why? your lips are so pouty and pretty, i love them!” sehun smiled, pecking jongin on the lips.

“they’re so pale. i hate it.” jongin looked down, whining.

“hey… i think the makeup artist gave you a lipstick before, right?”

jongin’s eyes lit up, and he made a beeline to one of his drawers. he pulled out the pinkish red lipstick.

since that day, he’d wore that lipstick every day.

even on the day he…

**“sehun is currently unavailable. please leave a message after the tone.”**

“sehunnie, i’m drinking coffee right now. may you do the dishes when you come home? i’m very bored…. i hope you’re doing well, and having fun during your photoshoot!” 

“hey sehun… i wanted to say i love you, and to always stay happy… don’t be like me.”

sehun listened to that voice mail on his way back from the shooting area,

opened the door to a coffee cup sitting on the table with a lipstick stain on it,

and…

“JONGIN—!” sehun shouted.

_ if i can dream long enough, you’d tell me i’ll be just fine. _

_ i’ll be just fine. _

sehun reared up as he read the letter folded neatly on the table.

“HEY SEHUNNIE!! it’s jongin here.

well, i guess it’s been a long one, and i have to go. my time is over, and that’s okay.

anyways, i’m such a coward, right? choosing this as my only solution to escape from the harsh realities.

being told ‘you’re useless’ ‘slut’ ‘worst dancer’ really does take a toll, and i’m not brave nor resilient enough. my apologies.

hmm… how do i phrase this—i hope you still stay happy even without me!!

just know that i’ll always be cheering you on.

love, nini.”

_ cleaning up today, found that old zeppelin shirt _

_ you wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt. _

sehun looked through jongin’s wardrobe, eyes falling on a familiar shirt he knew all too well.

“SEHUN, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS—you… you cheated on me with—chanyeol—“ jongin said in between choked sobs.

“jongin— i can explain—“ sehun begged, looking at jongin.

“THERES NO EXPLAINING TO DO!” jongin screamed, slamming the door.

“FINE THEN. I HATE YOU, JONGIN. I HATE YOU!” sehun shouted, eyes tearing up.

the door slammed, and he hadn’t seen jongin for a while until their next concert.

they patched things up, but the glisten in jongin’s eyes that forever was lost couldn’t be patched up or replaced.

_ we’re too young, too dumb, _

_ to know things like love. _

_ but i know better now, better now. _

“taemin... he—he cheated on me..” jongin cried, leaning into taemin’s shoulder for support. 

taemin ruffled his hair, jimin staring sadly at the two, unsure of what to do.

“i—i should’ve seen this coming— chanyeol’s taller than me, more good looking than me, better than me in so many ways—“ jongin sobbed.

“jongin, it’s okay. please don’t cry anymore,” jimin pleaded, hugging jongin tightly. 

the three shared a warm group hug, the sounds of jongin’s sobs echoing in the distance.

-

“i don’t fucking get it, chanyeol. he thinks i’m cheating on him with you??? bro—make it make sense!” sehun ranted, running his fingers through his hair.

“maybe he got the wrong idea, i mean we have been working on a lot of projects together, i get why he would think that.”

“BUT ITS ABSOLUTELY ILLOGICAL!” sehun rasped, tears falling from his eyes.

_ so i drown it out, like i always do. _

_ dancing through our house, with the ghost of you. _

“hi exo-ls! i know it’s been a while since we last met… have you all been doing well?” chanyeol asked, getting a response from the crowd.

“well… we thought we’d dedicate this concert to jongin, and perform his favourite exo songs… we hope you’ll like it.” junmyeon said, holding back tears.

everything was different.

when jongin wasn’t there, the stage felt… empty…

it felt nice to perform all together again,

but it wasn’t the same without jongin.

_ and i chase it down,  _

_ with a shot of truth. _

sehun sat in the living room, drinking his feelings away.

“jongin…. i miss you so goddamn much.”

_ that my feet don’t dance _

**_like they did with you._ **

  
  



End file.
